


Tears Held Back

by MariAkutsu



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga), Yasha (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Banana Fish Angst Week, BananaFishAngstWeek, Character Death, Crying, Drabble, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, Tears, Wakes & Funerals, bf angst week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 06:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17360417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariAkutsu/pseuds/MariAkutsu
Summary: Sing told himself he wouldn’t cry; not while everyone was watching.





	Tears Held Back

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by two mutuals crying over the state of SingYue at Yasha. Warning: this contains spoilers for Yasha. So if you don't want to know what happens, turn back. If you are still around, then enjoy the pain. 
> 
> Also written for the Banana Fish Angst Week with the prompt "tears. "

Sing never thought he would attend such a funeral so soon. With his lifestyle and his line of work, he knew he would attend one of these events someday. He really didn’t want to but wishful thinking can only do so much. He really didn’t expect this funeral to come so _soon_.

 

The person, now passed, is only two years older than him. Sing is in his late thirties. The man in the coffin would’ve live to celebrate his fortieth birthday if it weren’t for his enemies. To Sing, the deceased’s enemies are now _his_ enemies. As soon as the burial is over, Sing will make them pay. He will make them pay for taking someone away from him—

 

“Yue…”

 

It only took one utterance, a single syllable of the deceased’s name, to make him feel like he was shaking. He felt his eyes begin to water and his vision began to blur a bit. Those in black suits were starting to clump together into a single blurred shape. He told himself that he can’t cry. Not while everyone is looking at him. He was right beside the coffin that’s about to be six feet underground. He’s so glad he’s wearing sunglasses. The only one who got to notice his current state was Xiao Ying, his bodyguard.

 

“Sir.” The bodyguard arrived at his side. “You dropped this.”

 

His bodyguard lied. Xiao Ying handed him a blue handkerchief. Sing never had a handkerchief like that. Sing thanked the man, nonetheless, before pocketing the hanky. He didn’t need to have anyone see him using it. Not here, at least.

 

As the coffin descended into the hole in the ground, Sing remembered something. One time, when Sing was younger, an older relative told him and Shorter that the more someone cries during a deceased’s funeral, the higher the deceased’s soul will rise into heaven. At that time, another older relative had died.

 

At the end of the day, everyone said their condolences to Yut-Lung. That's when Sing goes to work to get as much dirt on Yut-Lung's killers as he could.

 

“…”

 

After hours of typing on the computer, his hands start to shake once more. _This feeling_ …This feeling was like earlier, when he had no control over his own body. As he trembles, everything hurts. Everything aches. The shaking hand moved to clutch on his chest. He found his teeth clattering. He started to whimper.

He told himself he can cry. He was already in the safety of his home. He was already away from the prying eyes. Even so, the tears would not flow out.

 

_“ **AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!** ”_

 

He screamed until he felt his lung burn. Until he felt his throat ache and ache until he started to cough. He screamed liked this when he mourned for Shorter, for Ash...and now for another name he will remember to mourn for. That night,  he screamed for himself. He screamed until all his shouts turned into choked sobs.

 

 _Finally_ , he thought.

 

He can finally mourn for Yut-Lung’s death.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to [Jen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/1stTimeCaller/pseuds/FullmetalArchivist) for beta reading this! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/archer_in_space) \- [tumblr](http://mariakutsu.tumblr.com) \- [instagram](http://instagram.com/mariaktusu) \- [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/Mariakutsu)


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